As soon as I arrived at Carlos Murphy’s, I immediately noticed that the hare was looking especially cute that day - decked out in a white McDonalds T-shit with little ducks all over it. Cute… Cumcussion… Normally I’d say that’s an oxymoron. Yet there he stood with a huge grin on his face - looking every bit as mature as the average 7 year-old with ADD.

And I wasn’t the only ones who noticed. As soon as the pack circled up, Cumcussion (or "Ducky" as we have fondly referred to him since that day) was accosted by a woman old enough to be his grandmother who proceeded to spank him with her parasol. Now Cumcussion has all types of fetishes - including one involving furniture and golden showers that I’ve never been able to fully comprehend. However, the geriatric umbrella flagellation was definitely something he hadn’t experienced before (as the pack could easily ascertain from the surprised yet delighted expression on his face).

Cumcussion wasn’t the only one who disrupted the circle with his deviant behaviour. Dead End decided to throw in her towel as well by jumping some supposed "friends" who just happened to be walking by and engaging them in an animated conversation. Well, truth be told, Dead End did all of the talking. Her "friends" just stood there with panicked looks on their faces, their eyes darting around searching for an escape route.

After a few minutes of chaos, the pack finally managed to grab the attention of Cumcussion and Dead End again. Being the hare, Cumcussion informed us that he had shortened the trail that day due to the heat and humidity. This came as a great surprise to the pack, who had come to expect marathon trails from this FRB. The true reason for the trail shortening soon became abundantly clear. The hare wanted to return to the On In as soon as possible so that his posterior punishment could continue. Maybe his new friend could use her walker on him as well? Not wanting to interfere with the hare’s busy s&m social calendar, the pack set out on trail.

It was in fact a very hot and humid day. After a few miles, Shadow, Rose eh and I found ourselves DFLing far behind the rest of the pack. We walked and talked and soon lost sight of everyone else running trail. Then we came across a check near a community swimming pool. This put us in a bit of a fix since we were all feeling far too lazy to check and no one had bothered to mark true trail. Fortunately a civilian came to our rescue and pointed out a short cut.

After another15 minutes of walking and talking (with no flour in sight) we finally found the BC. Strangely the hare was not at there. He was, in fact, out looking for us. Apparently our civilian benefactor had provided us with such efficient short-cutting instructions that we’d managed to get by the hare without being noticed. Now a principled harrier would have gone out looking for the hare. However, since there is no such thing as a principled harrier – we all sat around drinking beer until Cumcussion finally decided to make his way back to the BC.

The following down downs were handed out to the idiots present:

Cumcussion – for being the hare
Cumcussion – for wearing a hat in the circle
Just Toby and Just Carole – for visiting
Ultimate Asshole – for bringing people to a hash with new shoes
Shadow – for hideous ranging
Cumcussion – because he went back to look for people who weren’t lost and for picking up old ladies
Just Like Tarzan – for FRBing
Dead End – for talking too much (as usual) and for complaining about having to go back to work in a few weeks after he summer holidays
H2Ho – for singing on trail and for prettying myself up before trail
(Dear Freaks: All I did was brush my hair into a ponytail. If this is "prettying up", I’d hate to see what you’d do to me if I actually wore makeup to a trail.)
Ultimate Asshole, New Shoez and Just Toby – for ineffective FRBing
Rose eh – because she kept complaining that her ass hurt
Sex Toy – for being too well behaved
Ultimate Asshole – for being pussy whipped and also a back-sliding bastard

On On
H2Ho