I arrived at Scallywags with a light heart and a skip in my step. It had been another typical Monday. I had spent the entire day trapped at the office -stuffed into a suit and on my best behaviour. It was finally time to let my hair down, to get a bit dirty on trail, to make one or two extremely offensive comments, to drink more beer in one night than the average person does in a month and finally to pass out in a gutter somewhere.

However as soon as I walked into Scallywags I noticed something was amiss. No one was laughing, much less swearing. And strangely, everyone was sitting with their backs very straight and taking turns speaking - as if they were back in school. Then my eyes fell on the cause of this chaos - Sex Toy's mom.

Much to the pack's relief, Sex Toy informed us that she and her mother would not be running trail with us. As the pack left Scallywags and got out of range of Sex Toy's mom, the swearing began. New Shoez's trail took us along a few sidewalks and into a ravine. It was here that most half-minds first realized that they would rather be carrying a flashlight than wearing pants. It had rained almost the entire day and the whole ravine was now one huge mud puddle. Navigating this shiggy in the dark proved to be quite a challenge for some induhviduals.

At one point we almost lost Giggles for good when she lost her footing and began sliding down a steep hill. Fortunately someone stopped laughing long enough to grab her by the arm and pull her back up. Birdbrian made a spectacle of himself by shouting, "Look!" and then falling head first down a muddy hill.

Near the end of the trail the pack encountered a new type of shiggy -abandoned shopping-carts. Most half-minds were a quite confused by what they saw. However Birdbrain immediately realized what we had stumbled upon - a grocery store cemetery. The pack hesitantly approached the twisted metal bodies, not wanting to find themselves in the middle of a scene straight out of a Stephen King novel. Our GM seemed especially afraid that the spirit of some overturned cart (that had not received a proper burial) might come after us. Although several shopping-carts did attempt to run us over, these attacks were thwarted by the carts' warped shopping-cart wheels, which sent them careening in the wrong direction, thus saving our pathetic lives. The pack wisely decided not to linger in the graveyard any longer and followed our fleeing GM away from this terrifying scene.

We made it safely out of the maze of hedges without freezing to death or being bitten by the rabid St. Bernard that was now nipping at our heels and soon reached the Beer Check (where we were re-joined by Sex Toy and her mother). Here our GM did a head count. Then he did a head count again (since he had mistakenly counted each harrier twice the first time around) and found two people missing: Wet Pussy and Rose eh.