Hash trash index here - The Fan (2007-08-06)

The Fan

I'm not sure where Ultimate Asshole got his over inflated sense of self worth but he expected such a large turnout on Monday that he scheduled two hashes. The first trail started at 5:00 pm and the second at 7:00. Unfortunately as I was tuckered out from a weekend of getting jiggy at Caribana I was only able to attend the first.

After some pre-run carb loading and whining about hangovers past and present, we circled in the Green P behind The Fan. A few words of welcome from GM Wet 'n Dirty and the pack sped off in the wrong direction. Regrouping 5 minutes later the half minds headed south across Bloor into the upscale Kings Mill neighbourhood.

The longish trail skirted Kings Mill Park down Riverside Drive to the Queensway and back up through the Humber Marshes providing stunning views of Lake Ontario and couples copulating.

Somewhere around Stonegate Plaza I stumbled across a gaggle of Harriettes so disoriented by either their trip to Nittany Valley or heat stroke that they cried to Humpday (of all people) for directions to the Beer Check.

Cougar especially was excited to be at Benny's; the only bar this side of Danforth that still has a smoking room. She even lent her lighter to a local obviously under the mistaken belief that he was about to fire up a phatty. Sex Toy took an instant liking to Benny's and after a weekend of camping was grateful for its pristine washrooms and its clever use of toilet tissue as plotter paper. At this point auto hashers Bottom Scrawler and French Tickler arrived and managed to pick up three hotties (in more ways than one) for the trip back to The Fan.

While Humpday and Back Door Buzz paused at the local library to pick up some chick lit for their reading circle, the gang began the long journey past the Humber Yacht Club, through Etienne Brule Park, back to The Fan.

After Wet 'n Dirty poured out down downs for assorted crimes and misdemeanours, the crew hooked up feed bags for 10 cent wing night. Thankfully, math whiz Back Door Buzz was there to let us know that 10 wings at 10 cents apiece would come to precisely $2.50.

As I was departing, Shampoo and Shadow were chomping to join Moist Leatherette. Always a keener, she had set off on the second trail with the bang of the starter's pistol at precisely 7 o'clock.