1000th Hash -Trash #1

Just back from Hogtown.

In honor of H2Ho's classic Trashes , here is a short quiz about this Hogtown anniversary weekend. A #2 pencil is suggested, as is a 6 pack of Amsterdam Amber and a side of Moroccan beef-whatever-the-fuck-it-was.

#1. When arriving at the Day's Inn and discovering that your room (#121) is two doors down from the Hashpitality Suite , what is your initial reaction?

a. Great! Being close to Hashpitality makes it more likely that at the end of the night I'll end up in the right room (assuming I'm trying to get back to my room).
b. Crap! The cardboard that they make the walls out of in that place will transmit every sound - every g*damn sound of Dreary singing every known Hash song at 4am , with all the f*cking verses. In fact, I think he's making up new verses.
c. Interesting! I wonder if I can get up at 2am , go to Hashpitality to get some more beer while naked and return to bed without totally waking up.

#2. Friday night trail led into a bar featuring an all-male clientele and "The Hottest Firefighters in Toronto ".

 

Match the following thoughts with the Hashers.

a. "Thank goodness I'm wearing a tight animal print dress with my legs showing. I'm sure no one will hit on me with this old thing on"
b. "My pink tutu, natural dancing ability and unrelenting urge to make a fool of myself will show up that freak-show drag queen"
c. "The advertisements in the men's bathroom are leading me to question my sexual orientation"

Soup
Pennsil Vein
RobinWood

#3. Can you honestly remember getting home from the Duke of York ? No. Really. Can you?

#4. You are asked where you want your tattoo applied - what is your reply?

Match the following quotes with the Hashers.

a. "I want one on my leg, with the toes pointing up. To be honest, though, I like it best when I'm the one with my toes pointing down"
b. "I want two at once. Do you mind doing it to me while my husband also does it?"
c. "Can we do this in my room?"
d. "Let me show you where my other On-On Tattoo is. Oh, and by the way, here is another tattoo where the sun-don't-shine"
e. "Just keep licking"

Eat Me
Butt Floss
HypnoTits
Phart
Giggles

#5. Saturday trail began with welcumming from Wet 'N Dirty and destructions from our Hares - Hump Day and Bird Brian . Who do you best remember from the Call off?

a. Dave the Massssiiiiiiiooooooooooonn
b. Ricky's Crab Shack - it was only once and it was 19 years ago!
c. New Shoez , using his hands in his shirt to momentarily appear exactly like Mrs. Libbertities
d. The Chinese Fire Drill Master - Lock Nut Monster!

#6. How many jello shots did you have?

a. 1 - I know Eager Beaver worked hard on them and I don't want to be a pig. Ok. We're all pigs this weekend, but I still had just one.
b. 3 - Yellow was best, although the Purple was also good.
c. 9 - Maybe. Could have been 11. Could have been 23. Hard to remember. Where are my pants by the way?

#7. Saturday night.
Whoa.

Yeah.

I know that's not a question, I'm just having a moment here.

#8. Ok. Saturday night When St. Louis aka Big Hump sang their song, what were you thinking of?

a. Does anyone doubt that Hogtown is On The Piss Again?
b. Is there some way to get Give the Bitch a Ring back on the stage for any reason whatsoever? Or even no reason?
c. Is Ra as funny in person as he is when he's MC'ing?
d. Does More Head's talent translate to other areas of her life?

#9. Most surprising moment?

a. F*kstik wearing his underwear.
b. Butt Ugly busting a move.
c. F.L.A.B's ability to make Russian poetry waaay sexier than I remember from college.
d. Harriettes (not to be named, but happily remembered) offering necklaces - special location for Hashers in kilts.

#10. Did you cum to the 1001st Hash?

a. Hell yes. Fat Boy Hashing is what it is all about. Even if Dead End can't find her own f*cking trail
b. Yes. There was 45lbs of bacon there. All cooked at Cougar's house. Thanks Coug . I hear they have a special on odor removers at Loblaws.
c. I was present in body, but my mind was recalling who/why/when/where/how I got these names written or “other” marks on me.
d. Yes...and I'll be back next year cum hell or high water! Thanks for a shitty time Hogtown , you rock!!!

On On,

Dr. FuqsALot