1000th Hash -Trash #2
Report from Hogtown's 20th and 1000 th hash
November 16-18, 2007 (Fri-Sun)
Mileage from Summit: 476, in kilometers: a lot more.
Summit Hashers: GI and Dog E Style.
Weather, a bit cool. Perfect for hashing
The plan to go up with Rumson's Dead Man Walking was scrubbed the night before when Dead Man realized he had too much work on the weekend and couldn't go. So the now duo left Summit at the appointed hour: 6AM. The intention was to meet up with Tub Slut in Scranton, and continue as a threesome to Toronto. After loading Tubby's stuff, GI verified that he was carrying his passport. He wasn't, in his rush to leave; he left it on his bedroom dresser. As it turned out, it is not necessary to have a passport to go to Canada by car, only by air. That rule will change next month. TubSlut decided it wasn't worth the risk of not being allowed into Canada, so he drove the 2 hours back home and picked up his passport. He then drove up on his own, getting there in time to catch up with the Tacky-Dress hash.
$74.00 for a tank of gas! That's more than the DogE bug gets in 2 months! (Note to self: When you are paying for a full tank, don't wait for it to be almost empty –offer to refill it when it's about half full)
We must have hit some kind of temperature inversion, the temp dropped 40 degrees in 3 minutes near Niagara Falls, it happened about when we went into Canada. The miles got shorter too! Strange country!
The Dog E cell phone got a workout. The Roaming minutes were coming fast and furious. The good intention of getting the appropriately named, Late Cummer and Charlotte, to the hash on time probably cost more than a tank of gas.
GI and DogE got in to the hash hotel at about 3pm, plenty of time to rest up and get suited up in our tacky dresses.
Friday
Check in:
Trail:
From the hotel, we filled three yellow school busses with tackily dressed hashers. The manner of dress was crude and lewd. The bus disgorged its contents onto the hapless citizens of Toronto. The trail started from the base of the CN Tower and ran through and among the financial and entertainment districts. The trail even forayed into a chi-chi mall, to the bermusement and entertainment of all— OK some. After a short 2 miles, the pack found a BN mark and eventually a BC at Woody's on Church .
Woody's is a gay bar located in Toronto's gay village. It was established in 1989 and has since become one of the world's most popular gay bars. Woody's is known to be Toronto's most popular gay hangout.
It was said in the Toronto Star that "All roads lead to Woody's", and rumored to have the highest beer sales of any bar, gay or straight, in Canada.
The beer was certainly flowing last Friday night. The bartenders were efficient and cheery. Their temperament was perfectly suited for the crowd at hand.
The hash organizers even had so much money that they had Cher performing some of her earlier hits right on stage.
After the locals were thoroughly pissed off, the whistle blew and the beer was down-downed and the hashers were ushered out to the busses. The organizers think they transported a few more then they started with, but hey-it's a hash.
The festive pack was then taken to the Duke of York on Queen St. Dancing and drinking continued well into the night. The stroll back to the hotel was long and chilly. It was only 1.4447 Km to the hash hotel, but it seemed much longer at 1am.
Saturday
The 1000th Hogtown Hash
Weather: 2° (it seemed warmer, but that's what the bank sign said) under overcast skies; Perfect for hashing
Time: 1230pm was the announced time, but with the cat herding and organizing, the hash didn't really get started until about 1:25.
Hashers: Over 100 hashers made it to the trail: among them (From NJ/NY): Broken Down Bimbo, Dave the Mason, GI, Dog E Style, Late-Cummer, and Tub Slut.
The bus ride was a thankfully short 10 minutes. Not enough time for Yogi, Jesus or a Chicago work song to get organized. Someone blurted out, “are we there yet?” the answer was “yes, get out of the bus”.
The venue was Tommy Thompson Park, a man-made peninsula jutting into Lake Ontario. The locals told stories that it was named for a famous Canadian drowned artist, Tom Thomson . In reality it was named for a local bureaucrat, Tommy Thompson, a former Toronto Parks Commissioner. The area was a mix of ground up bed-rock and new growth forest. The area was formed from dirt and rocks extracted from the subway tunnels, and is now home to many threatened and unusual species including bird life, mammals, reptiles and amphibians. The trail was 4-5 miles depending if the hasher wanted to get extra credit or self-satisfaction for doing the last mile.
Here's an estimation of the trail. Note: the area has grown since the satellite image was taken. (It didn't really go through Lake Ontario. http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/ ?r=1459886
The pack was warned to be on the lookout for “JSN”, which stood for Jello shots near. The multicoloured shots were set into plastic shot glasses. The only ones to enjoy them in full were those with, Gene Simmons-like tongues. Otherwise the contents refused to be dislodged.
Evening:
The Saturday evening event was one for the ages.
About 6pm the migration from hotel to hall began. From Days inn Beaches, to Byron Bing hall: 0.9698 Kilometer. It was a Canadian VFW kinda hall. The first of two bands were on the stage, rockin' and rollin'.
Those attending got to enjoy Fat Ass's culinary masterpieces. He is a hasher and renowned professor of food at the local university. Fat Ass was assisted by GI , who got into the act. The main course was a beef entrée seasoned with a prune and pear concoction. Chef Fat Ass also made a chili with 9 types of beans in the mix.
As usual, his culinary skills were appreciated and commented on by nearly everyone. No pigs this time. It would be considered bad taste to cook the guest of honor. After all, it's the year of the pig, and Pig/hog was the event's theme.
The circle for the day's hash took place after dinner. It was followed by “the hash go no talent” talent show. Needless to say there was some original material but it leaned toward the PG-17 rating, with some not-suitable for children acts.
After the band got worn out, the second band took over, continuing the festivities well past the 2am curfew.
Sunday
Get the hell out of there at 8am. Drive drive drive to NJ, getting home by about 5pm. A short 59 hours of fun and frolic.