Artful Dodger

March 3, 2008

Who gave Wet 'n Dirty the whip? Next time either Shampoo or Shadow misbehave during chalk talk, someone's gonna lose a nut!
Anyway, Monday night found us at the Artful Dodger on Isabella where eponymously named Dung Dodger had brought Confederate friends Just Amy and Just Mike. Also notable was wannabe Canuck Just Matt who looked dashing in his shorts. Dude, I know you are keen to assimilate but even Canadians won’t start wearing shorts for another 3 weeks.
While Moonman rummaged through our bags, chalk talk took place in front of the bar. During introductions both Shampoo and Shadow were touched by premature Alzheimer’s. Watch out for the whip next time fellas.
Trail ran through the ghetto, past 519 and down into the Rosedale ravine before coming up at Mount Pleasant. I must give props to hare Casket Case for doing an admirable job marking trail in wet ’n sloppy conditions.
Back up on Bloor the pack chased FRB New Shoez into the Crown and Dragon beside MTV studios. Well, most of the pack. Wet 'n Dirty and 6" Under took the bunny trail and I’m not even sure what happened to Shadow and the Confederates. I’m glad I made it there in good time though as Doo Hickey was offering free prostrate exams. Silly me... I didn't know he was a doctor.
A couple of other notes from the trail. It was nice to see Give the Bitch a Ring do more than walk. Also have you ever noticed how much Wet Pussy in his running gear looks like a traffic light?
Arriving back at the Artful Dodger it was absolutely fabulous to see mildly retarded Rose Eh and Sex Toy, accompanied by a freshly shod Momma Toy. During circle Wet’n Dirty handed out a number of down downs to visitors, travellers, walkers, latecummers, back sliders, and to several overachievers who ran a half marathon the previous day. These four half minds shall remain nameless on the grounds that I might be incriminated.
After work was finished it was time for some play courtesy of foul mouthed Shirley and “her” Dirty Bingo. Shirley is to bingo calling as hashing is to the Running Room. I’m not sure of the final tally but I was happy to see Sex Toy won the Excalibur with detachable butt plug. That way she and Momma Toy can enjoy it together. I bet it won’t be long before she’ll be having sword fights with Give the Bitch a Ring who won one last week. Down boy.
Wet Spot won the inflatable sheep but explained to Shirley that he was a receiver not a giver. Fittingly GBAR won the male blow up doll which was the spitting image of mysterious hasher Dapper Sapper. Big winner of the night was 6” Under who won a cockring (no relation to Hash attorney Johnny), fur lined cuffs, and a bag of toys which would make Annie Sprinkle blush.


Public Service Announcement: I just wanted to give recognition to the War Amps for returning the keys that fell out of my pocket as I teetered home from the Re Gifting Hash. They are definitely my new favourite charity. Well, ummm... that and Humpday’s Home for Unwed Mothers.