Scallywags
March 31, 2008

Arrived at Scallywags (home of the best french fries in Toronto) at precisely 7:00am. Oops... wait a sec, my watch is still on Perth time. Only two other half minds present. Dapper Sapper, home from another hit in a far off land and Canuck wannabe Zephyr, visiting from Motown. Great , I thought to myself, no danger of having to run tonight. Unfortuntely over the next 20 minutes or so we reached critical mass and could no longer avoid the inevitable. In fact Hogtown trail master and all around good sport Birdbrian, put on hold the testing of the next generation of Bombardier jets, to act as a live hare.

The thin pack isn’t a surprise given the fatigue factor associated with 5 consecutive days of GTA hashing. Sometimes m’thinks it’s all just a bit too much... even feel a tad sorry for Birdbrian, Eager Beaver and the rest of the local hare raisers. Good hares are hard to find... or is it hard hares are good to find? Ummm... sorry. I digress. With hash gentleman COD winging his way back from the land down under, Doo Hickey’s hot red Vibe was conscripted as bag wagon.

Ultimately a pack of 9 assembled outside of the watering hole to hear instructions from our mildly disappointed jet setting GM. With introductions out of the way the pack took off up Yonge Street, over to Avenue Road, and back across the Kay Gardiner Beltline ice rink. At Mount Pleasant cemetery hare Birdbrain got caught in his own snare as a locked gate forced him to double back and into the jaws of fleet of foot hounds Wet ‘n Dirty and Black Widow. By this time, clever hashers Drinks like a Girl and Eager Beaver had figured out the game and shortcutted directly to the nearest exit.

Apparently Dapper Sapper and Zephyr got lost searching for the grave of George “Punch” Imlach. I still remember back in ’68 when he traded Frank Mahovlich, Gary Unger and Pete Stemkowski to the Red Wings for Floyd Smith, Norm Ullman and ’72 series MVP Paul Henderson. Since then Hockeytown has won the cup 3 times, the Leafs? Ummm... sorry. I digress.

Eventually all made it to the Fox and Fiddle to enjoy the $10 pitchers. New Shoez’s exit to the hong nam was a cue for our multilingual GM Wet ‘n Dirty to begin the circle. With lame ass hash throat Humpday leading in song, down downs were awarded to one and all for an assortment of infractions...

Doo Hickey for nothing in particular

Dapper and Zephyr for getting lost

New Shoez for going to the washroom

Wet ‘n Dirty and Black Widow for catching Birdbrian

Drinks like a Girl and Eager Beaver for shortcutting

And Wet ‘n Dirty and Humpday for travelling together for 18 days and still talking to each other.