Velvet

April 19, 2008

OMG, we’ve been invaded by Oakville. Along with semi regulars Oral Sox and Two Jugs, this week at Velvet we had to put up with Good Crack and Golden Shower. Personally, I think Shampoo deserves to see some good crack on his birthday but a golden shower is another story. Ach... to each his own.

Chalk talk took place outside the Leslieville bar, with our tipsy GM extolling the virtues of pre-hash vodka. Apparently she had ridden to the hash in the subway bar car.

With pleasantries out of the way the colourfully dressed pack took off in a north westerly direction. Mere seconds later we stopped for a shooter check Chez Shithead. As the flask of Mango Colada was passed around, Wet ‘n Dirty was seen cuddling the vodka mojito bottle like a newborn baby.

From here it was on to Chinatown East where chronic latecummers Flyer and Poker made an appearance. Not wanting to stress themselves they ran straight across the Dundas Street bridge and into the Dominion Tavern. Here they joined several other slackers getting an early start on the beer check.

Meanwhile, Shampoo and Casket Case had been on their knees making arrangements for an impromptu beer check. They were also admiring their host’s garden but decided to leave the pansies in their yard.

Eventually all the half minds assembled at the Dominion. Here it was decided that Nadia Cumaneatme is probably not with child. Several jugs later we strolled back to Velvet while a couple of unnamed Harriettes from the ‘burbs went on a Queen East shopping spree. Ummm... don’t they have Value Village in Tokeville?

Pre circle, the mob watched Birdbrian bust a move, Humpday energetically finger Two Jugs' belly button, and listened while our over-served GM taught Crusty and Left Torpedo some colourful new words.

As soon as our sozzled GM finished explaining the merits of her new motorcycle helmet, circle got under way. Down downs were handed out to visitors, latecummers, and an assortment of other miscreants. A special down down was given to Shampoo who, according to public health stats, has only 27 birthdays left. He was also presented with some lovely cupcakes compliments of Chase Bakeries Inc. Not only were these treats yummy but the grub from Velvet was certainly better than the average hash fare. Hey COD... did you eat the meatloaf yet?