Mad Monty’s

April 28, 2008

It was with a tinge of trepidation that I approached Mad Monty’s last night. Firstly, the weather had turned decidedly cold and secondly, Dead End was the hare. I must say I was relieved to see that she had found a responsible adult, her daughter Small Potatoes, to assist her.

As I entered, hash gentleman COD was standing at the bar offering to buy Wet ‘n Dirty a double vodka. Nice try dude.

It was great to see DUH GM Aims Low and her sidekick Bumming a Fag together at a Hogtown Hash. Apparently their daughter Just Lily was at home putting the finishing touches on her doctoral thesis. Also present was Dung Dodger, the Stephen Leacock of hashing. There was also a rare sighting of island girl Sex Toy, freshly back from Australia and Grand Cayman, on a layover in Toronto before heading to Iceland for a discreet rendezvous with Nadia Cumaneatme.

As our GM dragged the slow drinkers outside for chalk talk, someone pointed out to me that Casket Case was showing early stages of hash buffness. I guess it’s contagious.

As trail got under way it quickly became apparent that the coconut doesn’t fall far from the cocoa tree. Serious backslider Small Potatoes receives an “F” for her help with the trail. I know it’s at least remotely possible that beavers had gnawed off some of the limbs upon which marks had been made... but really! Where should I start? If you are going to use low contrast blue chalk, press on it, don’t merely tickle the sidewalk. Three blocks between marks is just too far for a group of people with limited attention spans. Flour works better on dirt paths than chalk. Check to see if your beer check will be open before laying the trail. Be a little more discreet in marking the beer check when it lies directly on the path between the subway exit and the start. Please excuse my rant. I’ll stop now.

The route itself was lovely; entering Muir Park and dashing across through Sherwood Park before circling Mount Hope cemetery and heading to the beer check at the Rose and Crown... oopsie, I meant the Main Event. I firmly believe it was only by divine providence... and the fact that New Shoez told me, that I found the beer check. Noticing Shadow already at the bar I gave him a big sweaty hug cuz despite his protestations I know he likes the occasional physical contact with something other than sheep.

It took a while for everyone to arrive, with Bumming a Fag DFL. Apparently he stopped for a fag in Sherwood Park.

After a chilly walk back to Mad Monty’s, circle got underway. There were the usual down down’s including one to unretentive Dead End for calling her daughter “New Potatoes”. There was also an extra special shout out to Rose Eh who didn’t complain once. Don’t worry, Humpday more than made up for it.