It was a hot and steamy night inside the Lion’s Gate Lounge. A group of 13 hashers ventured into the heart of Scarborough for Wet ‘n Dirty’s 35th birthday celebration. It took a while for the bewildered downtowners to get to this remote location but oddly enough it was local boy Back Door Buzz who arrived last. He’d spotted a sign that said “$99 Facials” and stopped to investigate.

We’d long since given up on seeing Dapper Sapper. Rumour has it he was still recovering from losing half his body weight after last week’s TWAT hash. In fact, you can still see some evidence of this at the corner of Lorindale and Lawrence. Gawd, we need rain.

While Rose Eh arrived in style in her bitchin’ new ride, the rest of us had to avoid making eye contact with the Mormons on the RT.

After a brief chalk talk the group meandered around Kennedy Common before moving east to the Midland RT station. I sorta lost contact with the others at that point (I wanted to up my mileage) but next thing I saw was hash gentleman COD and 39 year old hare Wet ‘n Dirty standing at the corner of Midland and Midwest having a lively discussion about the relative merits of Macs and PCs.

Back through the Ellesmere RT station the pack chased Dung Dodger (huh?) and Eager Beaver (WTF?) to the beer check at the sophisticated Shot House Pub. Here we enjoyed a couple jugs of water and some beer flavoured Freshie while a misty eyed Shadow caught up on his Scottish history.

Our return to the Lion’s Gate afforded us the opportunity to watch the staff train in the art of pouring beer, operating a POS terminal, and counting the correct change. Half an hour later we were ready for circle. There were a number of down downs including Eager Beaver for farting in the Couch and killing carp, Humpday and Zephyr for hashing abroad, and Wet ‘n Dirty for being the hare and celebrating her 45th birthday.

GM Humpday yielded the circle to RA Rose Eh who made a number of accusations including Dung Dodger for a close encounter with bird gravy, hash hussy Eager Beaver for leading poor innocent Dapper Sapper astray, and Humpday for crimes and misdemeanours too numerous to mention... or remember.

With formalities out of the way, and not having the patience to order another round, the mob wolfed down some birthday cupcakes and split into the night.
As 22 Hogtowners are now signed up for Eerie, anyone wanting to hang out with Sh*thead, Dead End, and Humpday (oh boy) in Toronto on Saturday afternoon should show up at the Loblaw’s on Redway at the usual time.