It’s often been the case where I’ve needed to shake sand out of my shoes before a hash. Yesterday was the first time I’ve had to shake out tiger shrimp penne. Anyway, that’s another story.

With the majority of Hogtown hashers attending the Brushwood Bash near Eerie, I was expecting a small turn out at Lizard and Shithead’s annual birthday hash. Well I guess there are at least 12 of us who are not allowed across the border cuz that’s how many showed up at the Loblaws on Redway. Unfortunately one of them was a gaseous Kazoo who treated us to a non stop medley of farts. Trix R4 Prix sure has my sympathy!

Halfwit was last to arrive and was immediately assisted out of her taxi and her clothes by Kazoo and Drinks Like a Girl.

The GM introduced the hare Shithead and his quiet friend Just Daisy. After brief instructions the pack headed down past the sewage treatment plant up into Thorncliffe then back down into the Valley of the Log Ramps. Trail was long and hard and I’m sure more than a couple hashers were stiff this morning. The hare threw in some mountain bikers on their Supercycles, cricket players, and a couple of railway crossings to keep the half minds on their toes. Courageous Zig Zag gets full marks for being the only hasher to complete the entire trail. It took him just under 2 hours. Unfortunately by the time he got to the beer check notorious shortcutters Shadow and Kazoo had already drank the beer.

Circle was held at the new Thomas Hauser Memorial and a large number of down downs were handed out by the sweaty GM. Halfwit got a bunch for staring at Kazoo’s dick, stuffing her bra, turning on her high beams and a having VPL.

Sweet Cheeks for admitting he wears a pink spandex one piece speedo

Shadow and Kazoo for shortcutting and drinking all the beer

Shampoo for leading the peloton and being able to spell it

Choirmistress Moist Leatherette for reminding us of Humpday by messing up a simple song

Double Header for allowing Drinks Like a Girl out in public with those shorts

Eventually the GM passed the circle to Shithead who promptly put him on the ice for not giving himself a down down. Ummm... stay away from the brown ice, man. Of course the sad sack GM also forgot all about Shithead’s 49th, Lizard’s 39th and Just Daisy’s 4th birthdays. With circle closed the assembled feasted on pizza and bruschetta compliments of the birthday boy.

Oh BTW if anyone is in Calgary and sees a brown Volkswagen please call Shithead.