Dozens of hashers gathered in the parking lot at Sheppard and Leslie for the semi irregular Joint Hash between Hogtown and DUrHam Hash House Harriers. Approximately 16 of these shared the one can of Lucky lager that had been ummm, liberated from Eager Beaver’s exceedingly wet TWAT hash in Mimico.
I didn’t recognize a couple faces. Aptly named Clueless, who neither runs nor drinks beer (WTF?), and Pees and Screws were visiting from Calgary. Also notable were Prince Valium and Didgeridoo who looked none the worse for wear after climbing the Matterhorn, and Back Door Buzz who was busy pulling Humpday’s finger.

The arrival of overachievers Birdbrian and Robin Wood on bicycles allowed for the start of chalk talk. After hares for the day Wet Pussy and Stuporman had given instructions the pack took off up Sheppard and around the Crappy Tire parking lot. Meanwhile home economist Wet ‘n Dirty had discovered a nifty little shortcut and led several other clever hashers directly into Blue Ridge Park. One of these was Giggles who wondered if she would be able to run without pushing one of those big honkin’ baby strollers.

As usual, I was totally lost and don’t remember a thing from trail except stumbling through the moraine of Clarinda Park wondering where the rest of the pack had gone. Eventually I caught up to Cougar, Clueless, and Pees and Screws who had taken the traditional stroller friendly DUH trail. Pees and Screws was kind enough to tell me that the beer check was back in the parking lot. Thanks dude... that saved me from a lot of bothersome checking.

Over the span of 10 minutes or so the pack arrived back from the mercifully short trail and was treated to some luke warm wobbly pop. It was almost enough to make one long for some bumming brew. Almost but not quite.

From there a few keeners actually continued on trail while the more evolved piled into cars for the short trip back to Chez Pussy. It soon became apparent that more beer was necessary. Unaccustomed to such a large number of half minds usually dependable beermeister Cougar grossly underestimated the hydration needs of the turnout and sent septuagenarian Sweet Cheeks on a mercy mission to buy one more piddly two four. This drove a couple parched hashers to put the joint back into the Joint Hash.

Upon Sweet Cheek’s return, Giggles and Humpday conducted circle while Moist Leatherette rawked as Choirmistress. A large number of down downs were awarded but everything was getting a little foggy. I do remember however that Shampoo, Pees and Screws, and Eager Beaver got one for having bad knees, Johnny Cockring for not feeling himself,  Wet ‘n Dirty for helping herself to the down down beer, and that Sweet Cheeks won out over Dead End and Clueless in the camel toe contest.

Hogtown RA Rose Eh gave Prick and Tit of the week to Drinkslikeagirl and Double Header for participating in a r*ce and missing trail. The nerve!
With duty out of the way the hashers went to work on wonderful nosh prepared by Wet Pussy and Pearl Necklace as well as some sweet treats compliments of Chase Bakeries - Official Bakery of the Hogtown Hash since 2007.

Having stuffed our bellies we started to depart with hash attorney Johnny Cockring trying to set the record for most drunken hashers in a Jag.
Rumour has it that in the wee hours of Sunday morning several sinful hashers were seen conducting a prayer circle outside Pizza Pizza at Yonge and Sheppard.