Last night’s hash, without doubt, was the best marked trail of the year. Well at least for the first 6K. Then the North York monsoon hit, washing away the chalk and leaving a gaggle of hashers stranded Chez Doo Hickey. It’s not his fault though... it’s Venta’s; 3 Hogtown hashes and 3 monsoons.  It wasn’t all bad however as we did manage to set a number of modern day Hogtown records.

Anyhoo, a good number of hashers gathered at the Goose and Firkin on Leslie to celebrate Doo Hickey’s 40th birthday. The group included a nice crop of virgins and near virgins lured away from House of the Great Satan by cross dressing double agent Wet Pussy.

Outside in the parking lot the GM tried to read the instructions which had been left by enthusiastic hares Doo Hickey and Just Alex. For one glorious moment Shadow’s premature Alzheimer’s disappeared as he actually got his name right during introductions. In deference to the approaching storm clouds, the pack was off at the tick of 7:20. Precisely 5 minutes before Moonman and late coming newcomer Just Cicely arrived.

Despite Humpday’s best attempt to mislead the pack, trail headed east to Moatfield Farm Park then north under the 401 into uncharted suburbia. New Shoez led the way, pumping his legs like Usain Bolt on hot coals. He was gamely pursued by tri-athlete (whatever that is) Just Matt and barely legal Just Linc.

Most of the pack made it to the beer check Chez Doo Hickey, somewhere north of the Peanut Plaza, however Cougar, Sex Toy, Venta, and Zepher (Canadian spelling) were caught in the monsoon and found themselves deserted in cul de sac hell with no more chalk marks and no beer. This started a confusing flurry of calls and text messages which led to the tragedy of a dozen hashers missing the second beer check and ended when the last stragglers made it back to the on in about 10 pm (a new record).

Normally I take public transit to hashes, unfortunately last night I drove the Shaggin’ Wagon. It’s unfortunate for two reasons. Firstly, the birthday boy had procured a keg of the good stuff and secondly had I not driven I would have had my Metropass and avoided the 6K (a new record) march back to the on in.

While GM Humpday gallantly escorted love struck co-eds Just Frances and Just Lauren back to the start, others made their way by planes, trains and Diamond Cabs. Still more, including Wet ‘n Dirty, Rose Eh, and Shampoo, had the good sense to just high tail it home. In fact, I’m surprised only 9 half minds (a new record) bailed out before circle.

A bunch of down downs were handed out including to COD for not having to use his bag wagon, New Shoez for being annoying, Venta for being a rain maker, loquacious Just Rein for almost being an eponym, Shadow for remembering, Just Cicely and Moonman for wearing cheap watches, and hare Doo Hickey for making Dead End look like fricken Einstein.