EerieH3 8th Analversary Weekend - July 13th to 15th, 2001

The hash continues to be a never-ending source of education and EerieH3’s Analversary Weekend proved to be no exception. This event came and went faster that you could say, "Turn left at the fish hatcheries." However the experience taught me a number of lessons that I won’t soon forget…

What I learned in Corry:
  1. Corry is such a small place that you can walk to the airport from any location.

  2. If you run around kicking dicks, sooner or later someone is going to punch you in the face. Statistics show that 97% of males prefer a gentler approach, Chemical Whorefare. (We sincerely hope that Dick Traci falls in the other 3%.)

  3. Getting on The ProgramTM requires a great deal of courage, self-determination and stupidity. Staying on The ProgramTM requires discipline, timing and a walkie-talkie. Getting off The ProgramTM only requires a bad hangover.

  4. Until "Hooked On Phonics" works for him, Rusty Prick should not be allowed to play with permanent magic markers. Rusty - please buy yourself a pencil and eraser, and stay at least 100 meters away from all foreheads (with the exception of your own) until you have memorize the following useful definitions:

    5. Blue Fairy: What you should have written on Dick’s forehead.
    Blue Ferry: What you actually wrote on Dick’s forehead.

  5. Golf Club staff become very upset when you intoxicate their lawn ornaments and let them take joy rides in their golf carts (since drunk lawn ornaments always lose the golf cart keys). Golf Club staff become even more upset when Buck-a-fufallo takes his clothes off and lets his bison roam free (since that’s what drives the lawn ornaments to drink in the first place).

  6. Dead voles make great pets. You don’t have to feed them and they never steal your beer. They also enjoy shiggy and love chasing pick-up trucks down picturesque country lanes. On the downside, they aren’t fireproof and have this nasty habit of borrowing CDs without asking first.

  7. While naked fire jumping is a lot of fun, there are safer ways of getting to the other side of the bonfire. Next time use the transporter, Dick Long & Prosper.

  8. Ping Pong is an entertaining and very social activity. Adding pie and beer traps to the game only adds to the excitement. Contrary to popular belief, urinating on the Ping Pong table does not take the game "to the next level" - it just means you’ll be playing all by yourself, TuTu Fairy.

  9. Dick Traci thinks he’s Peter Pan. Dick Traci thinks fairies talk to him. Apparently the blue fairy thinks that Dick should be an RA. Most of us believe that Dick should just get a firm grip on reality and stay the hell away from movie theatres.

On On
H2HO
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